Backslider: falling away or going back to your old ways, is a process by which an individual who has converted to Christianity reverts to pre-conversion habits and/or lapses or falls into sin, when a person turns from God to pursue their own desire.
First, understand the definition, then let's discuss the situation or issue. A person who has entered into the Faith Family then sees that "things" or life isn't going the way they thought it would sometimes reverts back to their old ways. That is a backslider. It isn't a pretty situation, and returning isn't either.
I confess, this is what happened to me, not wholeheartedly, but in the physical sense. My heart knew, my mind knew and my spirit knew, but, my flesh, well, it knew too, yet when I made decisions, I didn't line myself up with the Word. By writing this, I am returning, Wholeheartedly.
When I published my children's book, I had a lot of thoughts and ideas, one of them was that I'd be able to make money. What a joke! I made, so far, $1.29. Literally! However, Texas Educational facilities public and private, and many government members, some pastors and "their friends" have made, accumulatively, over $10,000,000+. That doesn't include Hollywood, the music industry, and associated companies WorldWide. Many have been profiting off of my work for some time now - leaving me broke and without anyone to go to, all for the sake of their profit. Which ends now.
My identity has been attacked, my character attacked, my ability to attend college - attacked, my relationship with my family - attacked and my job - all attacked. Even my healthcare access has been attacked. My physical health is fine, my mental health is fine, my spiritual health better than both, however, there is one issue, one I will not discuss openly. But I will end this portion with the facts and truth. Each time I went to a doctor, one in Houston, TX, one in Las Vegas, NV and one in Pennsylvania, each doctor said they would not do anything to attend the issue. Only "their" recommendation would suffice. What they stated to be the case is not true. Each stated that my issue would be horrific within 6 months or less, that was two years ago, and the "horrific nature" they exaggerated has not and will not transpire. It is a medical scheme. Their recommendation was unacceptable, and not necessary, therefore, I did not adhere to it. So, I still have the issue and am pursuing homeopathic alternatives.
With that said, I made mistakes by not listening to the voice of the Lord within my heart as He spoke for me to go places and do things. By not adhering to Him, I fell. Fell hard too. For me, not listening, and cussing, and allowing myself to become angry (when I know better) is inclusive to being a Backslider. Character behaviors are part of Walking the Walk of Christianity. Falling away from the proper way to walk is considered backsliding.
My admitting to my mistakes opens the door of change, once again, of my character. Am I going to allow the billionaire stalker to continue to stalk and cause me to cuss and become angry? Nope. Now I know who HE IS. Now I know what is happening, Now I understand the Big Picture.
My relationship, is exactly that, A Full Relationship - 100%. There is no dismissing it. There is no turning back to acting like or being like the person I behaved as when I was a teenager. That person was forced into a situation, that person spiritually knew but didn't understand worldly, neither did that person have an education - on paper. Today's lady does understand and does have an education.
My attitude, character, and moral compass is centered and rooted in Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
Nothing and No one else - PERIOD.
Yesterday - Backslidden - - - Today 100% His, again!
Backsliding happens folks, there is no getting around it. If this happens to you, Jesus understands, and the beautiful (and scarey) part is, if we confess our sins, return unto Him, He will joyfully welcome us home - with open arms along with His mercy and Grace! For we are saved by Grace!
Nothing Less and Nothing More!
May the Lord Bless You and Keep You All!
Saved By Grace,